Christmas Presents from the Heart
by Futanari King
Summary: A commission for a guy on deviant. Sorry for its lateness but the sight was overloaded on Christmas so I couldn't get it to you. Not a futa-fic, just a little heart-warming christmas thing.


**Christmas Presents from the Heart**

"I seriously have no idea what this woman wants!" Hichigo, groaned as he pulled out his hair. "One moment she's all lovey dovey and the next she's trying to decapitate me!"

The defeated Hichigo buried his head in between his arms in despair. They sat in a café at one the raised tables. Ichigo ordered three cups of coffee seeing as he was the only one who needed money to continue daily function. Hichigo never got hungry and Ulq got his nourishment from devouring souls which sounds a lot worse than it really was.

Christmas had snuck up on all three of them and now it was Christmas Eve and Hichigo was freaking out, Ulq wouldn't let it show but her nervous about disappointing Orihime and Ichigo…Ichigo was surprisingly calm. He sipped on his coffee and looked out the window as snow fell slowly from the cloudy sky. He really didn't want to come to this little emergency meeting, but his Hollow part had dragged him here anyway.

"Ichigo, you see very nonchalant about this whole gift-giving fiasco we've managed to land ourselves in." Ulq said calmly, ignoring the stares he got as females gawked at his sexy gigai.

Ichigo turned his head and gave them both a smug smirk as he sipped from his coffee.

"That's because I have a gift for Rukia and it's going to be amazing. I saw it in a movie and it's the perfect expression of my affection for her." Ichigo spread out his arms. "_You_ guys are the ones in hot water."

"You got Rukia something?! What is it?!" Hichigo yelled, reaching across the table and grabbing the front of Ichigo's shirt.

The café went silently as all heads turned towards the spiky haired albino and his orange-haired twin.

"I'd never tell you guys, you'd just copy me and then it becomes a group thing that they'll think we came up with together instead my own ingenuity." Ichigo growled, shoving Hichigo away from him and fixing his crumpled shirt. "Now if you want my opinion you'd better get back to the house and start brainstorming because according to my watch you got like 12 hours before crunch time."

Ichigo hopped down off his stool and threw his black leather jacket on.

"What if we were to do something for you?" Ulq asked, his face as stoic as ever.

"What could you guys possibly do for me?" Ichigo questioned, and then suddenly had a twinkle in his eyes. "As a matter of fact I think I can think of something."

Hichigo groaned, he knew that twinkle anywhere. Zangetsu had it all the time when he wanted to try something out at Hichigo's expense. Why did the holidays have to be such a pain?!

**Meanwhile**

"Are you sure they'll like it?" Dark Rukia asked looking inside the shopping bag as they exited the store.

"Oh trust me, if my time here among the humans has taught me anything it's that the guys love this stuff." Rukia said in a matter-o-factly type of tone.

Behind them, Orihime hummed a catchy Christmas tune she had heard from somewhere. The Town of Karakura was all painted up for the holidays. Snowflakes made out of lights adorned the over-hangings of all the shops. Parents scurried back and forth in an attempt to get in some last minute shopping. Kids ran from one side of the town to the other in the search for the best hill to go skiing down.

Holiday cheer filled the air as the trio of females talked about feminine things as they headed back to the Kurosaki house. Eventually the conversation turned to the boys.

"So what do you think the guys are gonna get us?" Orihime asked.

"That idiot Hichigo better not screw this up!" Dark Rukia ground her teeth against one another as she clenched her fist.

"I'm sure they've thought of something." Rukia sweat-dropped as she patted her, literally steaming, other half on the back. "Guys naturally have a group think kind of mind-set so they're bound to have something nice."

"Like on Valentine's Day?" Orihime asked, placing a finger on her lips and giggling.

"We don't speak of Valentine's Day." Both Rukia's said instantly and shivered at the unwelcomed memory.

**Timeskip**

Arriving at the house, the females entered in through the front door and kicked off their shoes. There was a loud noise in the living-room and the sound of hushed and urgent back and forth whispering as things scarped against the glass table. Coming around the corner, the girls were presented with all three of the guys standing side by side and looking up at the ceiling, blocking their view of the living room.

"What did you do?!" Dark Rukia yelled, kicking Hichigo in the shins and placing him in a headlock.

"I didn't do anything! I swear, I swear!" Hichigo cried out. "Ichigo, Ulq, help me!"

His would be partners suddenly had other things to do as they abandoned their comrade to unspeakably painful arm-bars and Full Nelsons by his girlfriend.

"We'll stop by later on tonight." Ichigo waved goodbye to Uruu who quietly exited the house with a large purple bag clasped in her hands.

"Mmmhmm." Uruu replied, closing the door behind her.

"Ichigo, why was Uruu-"

"NO REASON!" All three of the boys replied instantaneously and synchronized.

"You're so full of shit!" Dark Rukia yelled, dropping kicking Hichigo across the room.

"Hmmm." Rukia smiled as she approached her fidgeting boyfriend. "You won't crack, but can you say the same for your friends?"

"Look! Chappy Santa!" Ichigo cried, pointing at the window in awe.

"WHERE!?" Both the Rukia's were at the window with wide-eyes in a split second. "I don't…see…him."

Whipping around, all that was left of the guys were three smoke silhouettes. Smirking and crossing her hands, Rukia wondered just what in the world those guys were up to.

"Huh, what's this?" Rukia said aloud as she bent over and picked up a sowing needle that was left on the table. "Did Yuzu leave this here or did…just what are those guys planning?"

Rukia smiled as she rolled the needle back and forth in between her fingers. In the background, Orihime tried to calm Dark Rukia down as she tried to break down Ichigo's room door where the guys were barricaded in.

**Timeskip**

"Come on Hichigo, you're almost done." Ichigo gave his encouragement while he and Ulq enjoyed a boxing match on Urahara's T.V. while eating popcorn.

"Shut-up!" Hichigo snapped back as he pricked his finger for the 100th time.

Uruu sat beside him, coaching the individual and showing him what he was doing wrong. Ulq had finished his in record time and it looked amazing like it had come off a factory line and to top it off he didn't even prick himself once. Hichigo's on the other hand looked all sorts of rough and his fingers looked like they had been shoved in a blender. Time after time he felt like quitting, like throwing his present in the trash and saying 'eff it'.

But every time he did the image of an Orihime and Rukia sitting down and dawning over their gifts while his Rukia sat there silently because she had been saddled with the boyfriend that couldn't deliver. Every time that image came into his mind he worked twice as hard and as fast if only for a few seconds. He would finish!

The boxing match was boring as all get out, two heavy weight boxers slugging it out with no sort of technique. A knockdown drag out mud-slinging fest that ended with a lucky punch. Getting up, Ulq turned off the T.V. and followed Ichigo into the kitchen. There, Hichigo lay drooling on the table, his present clutched tightly in his bandaged hands.

"Come on man." Ichigo said, helping the tired Hichigo to his feet. "Lets get you home."

The half-awake, half-asleep Hollow mumbled something incoherent as they put on their shoes. Although one word was distinguishable through his mumbles 'Rukia'. Ichigo smiled as he helped his soul up.

"I'm sure she'll love it man." Ichigo smiled as Ulq supported Hichigo's other side.

Stepping out into the snow, Ichigo looked up at the full moon and checked his watch.

"Merry Christmas guys." He said quietly. "There's no one I'd rather spend it with."

**Timeskip**

"It's Christmas, it's Christmas!" Isshin roared, stomping through the hallway banging pots and pans together. Every room in the hallway was kicked open at once and an object from every resident in his house smacked his face at the same time.

Cart wheeling down the hallway, the goat-chinned father slammed into the wall, an assortment of shoes and alarm clocks embedded in his face.

This was the norm for the Kurosaki house on Christmas morning. The only difference was that there were more people here than usual. Slowly waking up one by one thanks to Yuzu's cooking, the girls shuffled downstairs first, followed by the guys. They all stepped over Isshin's bleeding corpse as the scent of bacon permeated the house.

It was good thing that the table pulled apart and allowed for another piece to be added in the middle or else there wouldn't have been enough room to have everyone at the same table. Karin was scheduled to give the blessing this year and stood up to deliver it.

After the prayer, they all began to dig into the delicious meal with gusto. Light-hearted conversation floated across the table as they talked about how fast the year had gone and what the next year had in store. No matter how great Yuzu's Christmas breakfast was each year, the best part was always what came next. The opening of the presents.

The twins went first, thanking Ichigo for his gift of two kindles that he had worked overtime in order to purchase. Then the females went, opening the presents they received from each other first. Before they guys present their own presents, Rukia excused them and they all hurried back upstairs to get their own presents for the boys.

Slowly sauntering back down the steps, the jaw of every guy in the room hit the ground and Isshin was sent slamming into the wall once again from his geyser-like nosebleed. Each of the girls had on an ultra-sexy Santa suit that left just enough for the imagination.

"Merry Christmas!" Orihime cried glomping Ulq and suffocating the Espada with her ta-tas.

"Merry Christmas." Rukia smiled, standing on her tip-toes to kiss Ichigo on the cheek.

"Merry Christmas, but don't get any ideas!" Dark Rukia growled, punching Hichigo in the chest as both of them blushed.

Ichigo nodded at Ulq who slapped Hichigo on the back of the head to get his attention. As one, they all pulled out plushy version of themselves and drop down to one knee.

"Take these as our symbol of our loyalty." Ichigo began.

"Our undying devotion to you." Ulq continued.

"Our eternal love to you and our pledge to stay with you." Hichigo said.

"Through thick and thin." Ichigo smiled.

"Till it comes to the day that we pass away." Ulq smirked.

"And we can be together for an eternity in the afterlife." Hichigo blushed.

"These are our hearts, be gentle with them." They finished as one.

There was a moment of awestruck silence experienced by every member of the Kurosaki household and then everything exploded at once.

"KAWAAIII!" The female cried, snatching their plushies from their boyfriend's hands.

"They grow up so fast!" Isshin cried to the poster of Masaki, banging his head on the wall as he cried.

"Blech!" Karin pinched her nose.

"Awww." Yuzu clapped her hands on her cheeks.

Blushing the guys stood in the background as the girls fawned over their gifts that their men had worked so hard on. No matter what anyone said about relationships between Hollows, Humans and Shinigamis the people in the Kurosaki household on this day would know that anything was possible if you put your heart to it.

_**MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!**_

I hoped you all enjoyed this mediocre short story that I whipped up for Christmas on Christmas Eve. It was requested by the artist of 'Request: Christmas' by pamianime on deviantart so shouts out to him for such a great piece. Well go and enjoy your holidays and may the odds be forever in your favor.

Hobey Ho, Lets Go!


End file.
